Sharing is caring. This has been circling around for some time now. Especially when it comes to kids. And social media of course :). I am not talking about social media here, but of course it’s gonna be nice if you share some of our stuff :).
I am talking about kids taught that sharing is caring. And how some parents are obsessing with it. On play dates, on playgrounds, in preschool, daycare etc etc..
Why should a kid have to share his favorite toy? Would you share your perfect pair of shoes? Or a dear present you got from your husband lets say?
The only thing we get by forced sharing is frustration. Tantrums. A kid not understanding why someone kidnapped their toy, especially when we teach them not to grab or steal another kid’s possesions.
As a parent I try to raise a good kid. Not a selfish one. But when we force our kid to share items that they want to keep to themselves, we forget that kids are tiny humans with their own emotions and opinions. We forget to consult with them and ask for their permission. I know I wouldn’t be thrilled if I was given a present and then forced to share it. So why do it with your kid?
It is up to us to teach kids the good stuff. What is acceptable and what isn’t. But sharing, empathy, compassion, they all develop at a certain age and not sooner.
You never know how your kid feels about a certain item. Maybe they like it and carry it because a special person gave it to them. Maybe it’s helping them cope with unknown situations. Or cause it’s super fun. And taking it away might cause a great distress.
The only thing we can do is set a good example. Explain. Consult our kids. Get their consent.
Try and explain why sharing is good. How donations work. Why we should always help the less fortunate. That friendships are a two-way street. They will understand some of it now. Some of it later.
Things come naturally in kids. And they are basically good. So most of the things will come at the time when they are ready for it and not a minute earlier no matter how hard you try.
My Quiet Spot