5 things that are not going to ruin your child

Don’t we all come into parenting thinking we have it all figured out? We imagine how our kid is gonna be this well behaved miracle of nature that never misbehaves in the middle of the store. How they are not gonna eat any sweets and never watch youtube while you sip on a glass of wine? I am sorry I meant herbal tea. While you sip a hot cup of tea.

Well you become a parent and your world shifts. At one moment you catch yourself feeding your kid steamed broccoli with both the TV and your phone playing some dumb nursery rhymes you heard ten thousand times. You start realizing things are not going as planned, like at all.

When you become a parent you realize that parenting is basically all trial and error. You learn as you go and try to give your child the best life possible. A bad day doesn’t define you as a parent.

not going to ruin your child
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These are just few things that are definitely not going to ruin your child

1. Screen time.
I am talking in moderation here. I love watching TV shows, always have. Grew up to be a totally normal person who graduated university, has a job and is a fully functioning member of society. Kids nowadays grow up with smart phones and devices. For starters, we take like bazillion photos of them every single day. Can’t expect them not to be interested in mommy and daddy’s favorite “toy”. So yes, my kid is allowed screen time, we even watch family movies together on a regular basis. So yeah, some moderate screen time is not going to ruin your child.

2. Food that isn’t home made, organic, local grown, watered with unicorn tears.
Giving your kid french fries every once in a while will not “create” bad habits. Some chocolate before breakfast is not the end of the world. What will create unhealthy habits is denying everything. Then you get a child that sneaks up to steal the Nutella jar and eats it hidden in the pantry. Don’t ask me how I know this. So everything in moderation is probably the best thing you can do here.

3. Being bored.
Trust me they will survive even without going to all the after school activities. What will drive them crazy is not having enough time to be kids. Having some idle moments they use to play or just hang out at home is very important for their development. Being bored actually builds up and improves their creativity and creativity is much needed in solving problems.

4. Making them do stuff they don’t want to.
I am all for following you child’s cues and going with the flow. But if you don’t “enforce” some things your kid is never gonna pick up toys, brush teeth or do homework. I believe that going at least one step more than their comfort zone will encourage them to try new things, overcome barriers and create good working habits. There are of course instances when you should respect their NOs and it’s your job as a parent to find out when to do so and when to push your child to become more independent and responsible.

5. Ignoring unwanted behavior.
Lets say your kid does something you do not approve of. You loosing your mind only gives emphasis to the whole situation. Next time your kid wants your attention or want to “pay you back” for something, he does the same stuff. What you give attention tends to grow. Putting all your focus on their inappropriate behavior only makes it worse. So ignoring can sometimes even be the solution of the problem. It’s not that you don’t care and they are never gonna learn the lesson. It simply means that you are patient enough to asses the whole situation and decide to focus on your child’s qualities and build him up. This is definitely not going to ruin your child or make him a spoiled brat.

I know we are all trying to do our best as parents. Being under all the pressure of being the perfect parent is not helping. Take it easy, have fun and go with the flow.

XO,
Amber,
My Quiet Spot

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