Never use these 7 phrases with your kid
Have you ever thought how simple phrases you use can affect your child’s emotions and development? Do you ever consider the fact that your words will either empower or belittle your kid, especially at challenging times?
Kids seek guidance and help from their parents. The world can be a scary and confusing place when you are so young. They need to feel safe and loved by their parents.
What we say and how we speak to our kids often impacts them a lot more than we understand. Kids tend to take stuff at face value, so parents have the responsibility of using their words wisely.
Listed here are 7 phrases you should never use with your kids:
1. Stop crying.
Kids cry for various reasons. Multiple times per day. I mean, I get it. You can be pretty tempted to use this one. But telling them not to cry is only teaching them to repress their emotions. They will stop crying when they feel like it. Instead, try asking why do they cry. Don’t have to reason with them, just listen and understand.
2. You disappointed me.
This one can be really devastating for a kid since they really want to impress their parents. If they did something wrong, tell them, but do it in a gentle way that teaches them a lesson. And that lesson is that there are real consequences of their actions, not only the dissapointment of your parents.
3. You are not good/smart/obedient enough.
Never tell your child that he lacks something. You are just ruining their self esteem and setting them to believe they are not good enough for their parents. Always try to work on your child’s improvement, if you really see an issue, and try to build up their self confidence.
4. Big girls/boys don’t get scared.
This one is absolute rubbish. I mean my husband is still afraid of spiders! Parents maybe try to encourage their kids with this phrase, but you can’t stop fear with words, trust me I have tried. Instead, show your kids that it is okay to be scared.
5. You are a bad boy/girl.
What is the point of this? Your kid did something wrong? Then say it that way. Everybody makes mistakes and that doesn’t make them completely bad.
6. I do everything for you.
And you should! Kids expect you to care for them. Our children have no idea what we go through every day to provide for them, and they shouldn’t probably for the sake of their well being. But our kids are our responsibility and if you feel like saying this, then maybe ask yourself if you have neglected your own needs. Ask your kids to do age appropriate chores, or simply don’t do “everything” for them and see how things change.
7. You are fat/too skinny etc.
If you are honestly thinking your kid has weight issues, do a dietary change, but not name calling. If your child is overweight, they probably know it as chances are they are already suffering from bullying/name calling at school. Home is supposed to be a safe place to go to where you can be yourself and feel accepted. Body shaming can have profound effects, especially to young kids. Set a good example by eating healthy, exercising and encourage you kid to do the same.
The no-swearing-in-front-of-the-kids rule is also great, but ultimately these phrases will have a much worse effect on your kid that hearing you drop an f bomb. I would rather have my kids swear than break their spirits.
And remember, a loving and patient parent is the best thing a kid can have. Making home a safe haven is probably the best gift you can ever give your kids.
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